Chinglish?

Enjoy, people.

Original article attributed to Rahoi.com

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May I take your order?

March 2nd, 2006

It was a night like any other - people inviting us out to a steakhouse. We get there, we are seated in a private room. All was well. Niceties aside, we prepare to order. I ask my wife what I should get. She says, “Go ahead and look at the menu - it’s in English.”

“Oh Really?”

I started out chuckling, then got progressively louder each time.

Yeah, that sounds like a bargain item.

“I think I’ll have the cowboy pick, or maybe the cowboy LEG?!?! I really wish I could shit you.”

What’s in a rurality salad? Country Music and buckshot?

I was so stunned by the English blunders herein, I had to buy the menu from them. Can you imagine the scene when that happened? I’ll never forget it. They couldn’t decide whether to be flattered or confused.

The Bcabe’s connected to the… um…

Can I get Retchup on the side?

I’m not quite that hungry, thanks.

Um… Is this vegetarian, then?

I didn’t know cucumbers had feet, let alone hooves.

what’s with all the verbs? But man, you had me at sweet and sour bone.

Bartender, I’ll have the usual!

wow, they love their cowboy meat here.

hold the foliage please.

Am I the only one turned on now? Guys? Anyone?

1 article pot: hometown? what the shit?

the scorn adds that little extra kick.

Nah, I think I’ll just have a Papsi.

maybe they should eat more words plum.

I’m starting to get nauseous at this point, but I’m still laughing. It gets better.

Wow - glad to know there are three “ignedients,” but what ARE THEY?

Aren’t these kung fu moves?

Is this like supersizing or what?

Do French Crips do drive-bys as well?

Do I order this or agree with it?

Does anyone order the “Strange Flavour of inside Freasure?”

man fruit? is that a euphemism?

Double boiled frog for dessert? does that come ala commode?

mordacity: a disposition to biting. Well, I should hope so. It’s a PIZZA - does it come in suppository form?

well, then, what the hell is it?

black bowel and cowboy leg? Add candlelight and you have yourself a date.

Isn’t this a show on CBS?

I passed on this.

lol. just pure lol.

how do you numb vegetables? and what’s fuck silk? satin?

What happens if I get that to go?

and with that, I’m stuffed. Duck Bukkake always makes me feel full.